It is important to ask ourselves what would support us to stay in the flow of life, according to Pema Chodron. We know we are there when we have that easy feeling that we are on top of things or able to roll with the punches so to speak. We know we are there when we feel patient, open and kind. However, we don't usually manage to stay there. Life's stressors come tumbling down on us and bam we feel stuck again. We don't feel so patient or open. We find ourselves getting angry and irritable.
In order to understand how to stay in the flow of life we need to note the things that stop the flow. At times these are attachments to material things like our possessions. For example, we believe we have to do that stressful job because we want that expensive vacation/car/house. At other times we get stuck by ideas, like the idea that we have to do everything because no one else will. We tell ourselves that if we don't do it then everything will fall apart. That is a pretty stuck place.
Sometimes we go out of our way to orchestrate things which also stops the flow. We want to have a certain experience but instead of being patient and waiting for things to unfold we try to force outcomes. For example, perhaps we really want a friend to join us on a trip but instead of waiting for them to make up their minds we pressure them into doing what we want them to do. That can get us pretty stuck. Especially if our friend then feels resentful because they weren't given the time to make their own decision. They might turn around and accuse us of being controlling. That is going to take us to a whole other level of feeling stuck.
Holding on to things, ideas and outcomes are sure ways to stop us from being in the flow of life. Noting what these are in our daily lives is a good start to finding our way back into that flow. Perhaps then we can ask ourselves what would support us to stay in the flow and work on building those things into our daily lives.