When we have intense emotion or pain we try to shut down. This emotion has an energy. We need to see that the energy of pain could be used to open and deepen our self development. However, most often we feel frightened by the energy of pain or intense emotion so we try to escape. We use different methods of escape like aggression. Aggression is a great escape especially when we use all the energy of the pain to fuel it. For example, we can get so invested in the energy of aggression that we forget about the pain all together. We also forget that aggression is adding to the pain.
We use story lines about what is happening as another way to escape pain. For example, we tell ourselves stories about why things happen to us. We pour our energy into the story line as a way to escape the pain. However, this also generally adds to the pain because, in addition to the pain we are trying to escape, we now have a story to believe perhaps about how we are always a victim. We add other stories to this one and find our selves paralized by a sense that things never work out for us, that we just have bad luck or that noone really cares about us.
What if we saw the energy of pain as something we could direct constructively. What if we used that energy to deepen our growth and development. What if we stayed present to the pain and focused the energy on hearing what we were trying to escape. Instead of using aggression and story lines to distract ourselves. Maybe pain can lead to insight, maybe we could see our habitual ways of escaping and learn to stay for a moment to learn something about ourselves. Then when we see these habits surface in our everyday life we could chose to open instead of close. What if we directed the energy of pain toward growth and development instead of using it to deepen suffering.